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Conflict is inevitable in every workplace.

We'll disagree on major decisions like flexibility and hybrid work, and minor ones like the pros and cons of leaving leftovers in the staff fridge. We can argue over who deserved a recent promotion or who was responsible for the outcome of a project. And we can get prickly over those who get away with the very same behaviours that others are punished for.

Research shows conflict significantly impacts team cohesion and performance. One study found that of the 10 million people who experienced conflict at work, just under 900,000 took **time off work** , nearly 500,000 **resigned** , and more than 300,000 employees were **dismissed**. (1)

However, Adam Grant says in his WorkLife podcast _The Science of Productive Conflict_ , the key is not to have _less_ conflict, but to manage it more effectively. The goal is to have the _right kind_ of constructive conflict.

So, lets look at some of the key ideas in his podcast on conflict.

**The discomfort of conflict**

Adam Grant says that confronting conflict makes most people uncomfortable. He says that for years he avoided telling people difficult truths to avoid hurting feelings or damaging relationships.

I wanted to be liked, he admits.

According to [accountability](https://www.thegrowthfaculty.com/blog/accountabilityproductivity) expert and leadership coach Mark Green, the nearly universal desire to be liked generally serves us well as members of groups, teams, and society. But if youre a supervisor, manager, or leader, a strong **need to be liked** diminishes your efficacy.

It can even backfire completely and cause your team to like you less, he says. That's because a desire to be liked effects your ability to do well on things like:

*   Delivering bad news effectively
    *   Making and acting on hard, right decisions
    *   Giving effective, constructive feedback
    *   Ending non-fit customer relationships

It becomes so problematic that the absence of conflict is listed as one of Patrick Lencionis [5 dysfunctions of a team](https://www.thegrowthfaculty.com/blog/fivedysfunctionsofateam).

20 years ago Adam Grant said he went through conflict mediation training and learned invaluable skills and tools for handling conflict constructively.

One was the concept of the **ladder of inference** which, he says, is essential for unraveling messy conflicts and getting to the heart of issues.

**Untangling messy conflicts**

In any conflict we need to understand what we're actually arguing about, says Adam, because it is often _not_ what we initially think.

The core idea is that many conflicts arise from **wrong assumptions** about others' motivations.

Taking their perspective is not enough we need to elicit their _actual_ perspective, he says.

Consider a conflict you've had and imagine yours and their views on a ladder, from **observations** to **assumptions** to **conclusions.**

Walk down your ladder and share your observations and assumptions. Invite them to do the same. This can reveal the true nature of the conflict.

**A Ladder Of Inference example**

To illustrate Adam Grants point, lets imagine an example of a conflict at work:

**Observation** : My coworker, Mei, has been coming in late and leaving early all week.

**Assumption** : Mei must not care about her job or meeting deadlines if she keeps showing up late and ducking out early. She's probably spending her time running personal errands instead of working.

**Conclusion** : Mei is an irresponsible and lazy employee who takes advantage of our flexible schedule. I can't rely on her as part of my team if she doesn't take her work seriously.

The team leaders conclusion in this example is that Mei is irresponsible and lazy, which then angers and frustrates them.

Walking _down_ the ladder of inference would involve checking my assumptions with Mei directly, perhaps by asking questions like:

_I noticed you've adjusted your schedule this week. Is everything okay?_

_I want to make sure we're on track with our project. Do you need any support with your tasks?_

_Can you help me understand what's going on so I can support you better?_

The goal is to walk back from conclusions to **facts** before making judgments. This prevents conflicts based on inaccurate assumptions.

**Different types of conflict**

Clarifying the conflict type helps solve it. Let's examine task versus relationship conflict.

**Task conflict** is disagreeing on problems, solutions, or decisions, which can be productive.

**Relationship conflict** is fighting over personality or values differences, which is usually destructive.

Adam Grant says that in healthy teams, task conflicts happen without relationship conflicts. But they often blur together, and a task conflict morphs into a relationship one.

*   **Status conflict** over whos in charge is another unproductive form well discuss in a moment.

Adam suggests that when youre embroiled in conflict, take a step back to identify the type then solve it accordingly.

**The ladder down to understanding**

Describing personality differences is a way you can walk down the ladder of inference, revealing assumptions and observations rather than conclusions about others motivations.

As Michael Bungay Stanier said in our masterclass about his book [_How to Work With (Almost) Anyone_](https://www.thegrowthfaculty.com/blog/workplacerelationships) , the way we each view the world can be revealed in a "keystone conversation."

In a keystone conversation you are trying to discover things about the other person, like _What does a good client look like to you? What does a great vendor look like to you?_ He says it's about curiosity. (Note: You can catch Michael Bungay Stanier's [_live virtual masterclass: The 5 Question Leader_](https://www.thegrowthfaculty.com/event.php?eventId=a1JOd000000ZTK5MAO) in March here at Growth Faculty).

Adam Grant says that seeing your own ladder of inference provides **self-insight** ; seeing theirs, **other-insight**. This understanding is the path to [resolving conflicts](https://www.thegrowthfaculty.com/blog/conflictresolutionskills).

**Resolving status conflicts**

UCLA expert Corinne Benderski told Adam Grant on his podcast that **clarifying roles** is key for defusing status conflicts over decision authority.

She says that its important to show respect for the person, their skills, and contributions.

Make it clear you value them, says Corinne.

Mark Green, himself a fan of role clarity, also likes an outward show of noticing the value in others. In [his accountability masterclass](https://www.thegrowthfaculty.com/blog/accountabilityproductivity) he lists **3 building blocks of accountability:**

**Expectation** I believe in you.

**Context** Why this matters (to me and/or to our organisation).

**Attention** _Hey, Im watching you._ Noticing and noting; keeping someone accountable but _not_ micromanaging.

If there is an issue that needs to be dealt with, its best to be clear and direct, but show you care too.

As Jonny Camara explained in our [Radical Candor masterclass](https://www.thegrowthfaculty.com/blog/feedbackteamradicalcandor), its important to:

**Care personally** ensure you promote real, human relationships at work

**Challenge directly** be willing to piss people off.

**Encouraging constructive team conflict**

As Adam says, leaders often want solutions, not problems, brought to them. But complex issues require multiple perspectives to solve.

Better to first **identify the conflict type** before solving it. This prevents relationship conflicts and ensures different viewpoints are respected the essence of constructive disagreement.

_You dont have to agree to disagree. You just have to agree to disagree respectfully._ Adam Grant

**See Adam Grant in person in 2024**

Dont miss Adam Grants highly-anticipated Australian tour in 2024 [ADAM GRANT LIVE: Unlock Hidden Potential & Transform WorkLife](https://www.thegrowthfaculty.com/event.php?eventId=a1J9g000000R00ZEAS). Tickets are selling fast (Some categories SOLD OUT).

**About Adam Grant**

Adam Grant is a renowned organisational psychologist, bestselling author, and global influencer. As Wharton's top-rated professor for seven consecutive years, his expertise in motivation, generosity, original thinking, and rethinking has made him a leading authority in his field.

His five _New York Times_ bestselling books _Think Again, Give and Take, Originals, Option B_ , and _Power Moves_ have resonated with millions of readers in 45 languages. His latest book is _Hidden Potential._

With hugely successful TED talks and his TED podcasts WorkLife and ReThinking, plus a substantial social media following and popular monthly newsletter, Adam Grant is one of the world's most inspiring thinkers and speakers.

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Reference:

1\. Workplace Conflict Statistics 2023: Costs & Outcomes, [Gitnux Market Data](https://thegrowthfaculty-my.sharepoint.com/personal/christine_growthfaculty_com/Documents/Workplace%20Conflict%20Statistics%202023:%20Costs%20&%20Outcomes)

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Adam Grant's Ideas for Managing Conflict in the Workplace

How less conflict and the need to be liked can backfire on leaders

Keep informed
Stay Inspired

Adam Grant's Ideas for Managing Conflict in the Workplace

How less conflict and the need to be liked can backfire on leaders

Keep informedStay Inspired

Keep informed
Stay Inspired